Harry Potter in the Alternate Dimension...uh...X!!
by The Praetorian
Summary: I don't know, just an odd fic that might make you think that I am on drugs that takes place in Harry Potters house at Dimension X. It's odd, so I rated it PG-13 because I didn't want little kids reading it and thinking that there really was an alternate


  
Harry Potter's Alternate Dimensions: Part 1  
  
(Dear readers: I admit it. I am a pervert. So don't flame me saying so. In fact, don't flame me for any reason. If you do, I will hunt you down, and I will kill you. Just like Voldemort did James and Lilly Potter. Remember that. They died. So will you. If you flame me. On that same note, I also admit that I do not own Harry Potter or anything realting TO Harry Potter. I am just a pawn in the system. Thank you.)  
  
In our dimension, Harry Potter is the hero among wizards who vanquished the evil Voldemort and is a relatively famous student at Hogwarts Academy for Witchcraft and Wizardry. However, this dimension is not the only dimension in which Harry is around. Oh no, not by a long shot. In fact, to prove my point, I will now show you.....  
  
HARRY POTTER IN THE FABULOUS  
DIMENSION...UH......X!  
  
Harry Potter had just returned home from shopping for pink lacy underwear when he skinny cousin Dudley trotted into the room.   
  
" Hello, Master Harry! Anything I can do for you?" he asked, smiling nervously. Harry frowned.  
  
" Dudley Dursley! Get me a slice of pie! Or I will turn you into a pig!" he yelled, angrily. Dudley cowered in the corner.  
  
" B-b-but Harry! We do not have any pie!" he replied. Harry's eyes went wide.  
  
" WHAT?!? YOU DID NOT STOCK MY REFIRGERATOR WITH PIES?!?!? HOW DARE YOU!!!!" boomed Harry. Dudley turned a the lightest shade of pale and looked like he was about to pass out. Harry calmed down. " Fine! I will spare you the embarresing fate of being a pig. But you'd better get into your cupboard, or GOD HELP ME!!!!" Dudley nodded, and ran to his cupboard under the stairs. Harry stepped into the bathroom  
  
Just then, Harry's beloved Aunt Petunia galloped into the kitchen. Harry had gotten mad at Petunia a year ago, so Harry turned her into a horse. Now, whenever he didn't feel like walking, he got on her back and rode her around town.  
  
" Harry! I'm so glad your home," she called in her horse-like voice. Harry sneered.   
  
" Leave me alone. I'm in a very bad mood," he said from the bathroom. He stepped out, dressed in his pink thong and bra. " Do I look fat in this?" he asked.  
  
Petunia said no, and Harry smiled. He took a beer out of the refrigerator and started to drink it when Mr. Dursley waddled in the room. He looked at Harry. " Wark!" he yelled through his penguin beak. Harry smiled.  
  
" Oh, you stupid, stupid penguin. Here. Eat this," said Harry, dropping the pull tab from his beer can. Mr. Dursley the Penguin swallowed it and promptly choked to death. Then, Petunia the Horse trotted in with the mail in her teeth.  
  
" 'Aarry! Mails 'ere!" she said without using her tongue. Harry snatched the letter out of her mouth and opened it. It read:  
  
Stupid Harry Potter,  
  
This year at Warthogs School of Pushing Little Children Around and Using Monsters to Terrify Others, you will require the following:  
  
1.A Life   
2. A New Cauldron (Solid Gold, so you become poor)  
3.A muggle-vibrator ( I will no longer pleasure you myself)  
4. Some books (It doesn't matter which ones, we never use them)  
5. A human sacrifice for Dark Arts class.  
  
However, I will understand if you don't want to show up.  
  
Sincerely,  
Headmaster Severus Snape  
  
Harry crumpled up the letter and tossed it. He turned to Petunia.  
  
" I don't think I'll go to school this year, Petunia," he said. " I think I'll just play around with the spells in this book I stole from the Forbidden Book section of the library. Boy, I bet the librarian, Mr. Voldemort, will be mad if he ever finds out! HAHAHAHA! Oh well. Look! Here's a good potion! How to Destroy the House Next Door! Cool!"  
  
He began to read he potions description.  
  
" This potion was orignally created by the worlds most feard dark wizard, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-Though-It-Really-Doesn't-Matter-Because-He-Is-Definetly-Dead. Right when he was about to commit the worlds worst act of dark arts and destroy his neighbors, the famous son of James and Lilly, Draco Malfoy, thwarted him and saved the day."  
  
He ran up to his room and came back with his cauldron and all his other stuff.  
  
" Hmmm....let me see....I think I'll double everything in the potion to give it a little extra oomf." He started to cut up ingredients and had several large piles of interesting ingredients. " Hmmmm....I still need half a horse.....I mean, make that a whole horse, I'm doubling everything.....Oh, Petunia!" he called out.  
  
Petunia trotted over. SLICE! One slice at the neck, and in the cauldron Petunia went. Harry tossed the rest of the ingredients in and started to boil it. He didn't notice the small footnote at the bottom of the page that read, Don't Double the Potion or You'll Destroy the Entire Planet. He doubled the potion and destroyed the entire planet.  
  
The End!  
  
MORE ALTERNATE DIMENSION HARRY POTTER STORIES TO COME!  



End file.
